


Flirting Headaches

by EllieStormfound



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
Genre: Bad Flirting, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Has Feelings, Hurt Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier | Dandelion Has Feelings, M/M, Protective Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, but first he makes fun of jaskier, flirting headaches, jaskier is bad at flirting when geralt is watching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:35:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26810743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllieStormfound/pseuds/EllieStormfound
Summary: In wich Jaskier is bad at flirting when Geralt is around. If only the witcher would not have enhanced senses and heard every embarrassing word he said...
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 10
Kudos: 87





	Flirting Headaches

**Author's Note:**

> There is a list of ridiculous things women in literature have died from and one is flirting headaches and I got this as a prompt on tumblr from a lovely anon.

“You have the most incredible neck. It’s like a sexy goose… guzzling.“ 

Jaskier was leaning with his elbow on the wall, batting his eyelashes at a beautiful plump peasant woman but it seemed that his luck wasn’t with him tonight. She said “fuck off” and bumped into him so hard, that his head hit the stone wall behind him.

“Ow,” Jaskier exclaimed loudly, but the woman had already left the tavern when he turned around, holding his aching head. And then he somehow heard a snort from halfway across the tavern and turned around to see Geralt looking over with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. He sighed, walked over and with a huff plopped down on the chair across from him. 

“You okay there?” Geralt asked the bard, nodding at the hand that was still holding his own head.

“I think there is already a bump forming…” Jaskier said with a pained expression. He sat down and reached for Geralt’s ale and drank half of it.

Geralt chuckled.

“And what the fuck was that with the woman?” the witcher asked before grabbing his ale back, drinking the rest before Jaskier could. He eyed the bard.

Jaskier shook his head. Of course the damn witcher had heard every embarrassing word he said with his enhanced hearing.

“It’s called flirting,” Jaskier replied snippish, “and it normally works…” 

The bard had felt the witcher’s gaze like a hot iron poking him in the back as he had talked to the beautiful woman a moment ago.

“Guzzling?” the witcher said with another snort, “I get a headache just listening to your ‘flirting’.”

It was ridiculous. Over the years Jaskier has learned the fine art of figuring out who in a crowd of people would be interested to spend the night with him and how to respectfully woo them to do just that. But somehow Geralt’s presence, even halfway across a crowded tavern, made him twitchy and lose his nerve without fail.

“I’m the one with the actual flirting headache here,” he replied grumpily. 

“It’s a miracle how you convince anyone to jump into bed with you with this ‘flirting’-technique of yours,” Geralt continued with raised eyebrows. 

Jaskier huffed in indignation. “I cannot complain about my number of lovers, thank you very much,” he said, looking down at his hands, but Geralt wasn’t finished yet.

“I remember one time you compared a woman to her horse,” he said with a chuckle, leaning back, hands comfortably crossed behind his head. 

“It was a very beautiful horse,” Jaskier protested half heartedly. He was now watching his finger drawing imaginary patterns on the wooden table. 

“And another time,” Geralt began, but was interrupted by Jaskier, “I am sorry to spoil your delight of making fun of me, but this is definitely not helping with my headache…” 

Geralt noticed that Jaskier looked indeed a bit pale, eyes squeezed to small slits. He stood up and said, “okay, come on, casanova, I’ll bring you to bed.”

“So I am not going to bed alone after all,” Jaskier managed to say with a grin. Maybe the bad flirting had been worth it in the end.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, let me know what you think!


End file.
